Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
