dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
