called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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