Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
