So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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