2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
