Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
