you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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