This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
