if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
