Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
