after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
