therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
