I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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