he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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