im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
