Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
