My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
