take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
