I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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