Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
