Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
