i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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