Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
