but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
