guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
