I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
