Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Be still, my beating vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
