Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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