Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
