we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
