is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
