that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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