I cockslap morals
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
