What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
