bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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