Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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