My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
