dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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