The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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