Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
