I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
