Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
