I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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