Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
