didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she told me i tasted like america
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
