The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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