Well douche your snatch and let's go!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
