return my video game
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
