I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
