Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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