He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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